Some feelings

Some feelings   

 

Made of sand, made of stone,

Ending up in safe hand, ending up alone.

 

Opportunity screams, opportunity dies,

Temptation became rare, truths became lies.

 

Painful tomorrow, precious today,

Strangers that became loved ones fade away.

 

Only thing left is a starry night,

A pillow to hug and to hold tight.

 

A new day to dawn, same is the light,

Lost in thoughts not willing to enter the flight.



 

GLASSY CHANGE

Days, weeks, months...

are like waves of the ocean.

A breeze can change it all.

It may be a new beginning

that brings you closer to what you cherish.
Or you sunder with every gusting wind.
No destination in front of you.
No strings attached.
Only your thoughts are left.
Thoughts that make you wonder -
Does it get me far?
Does it get me anywhere?
The moment you take that hurdle
life forms to a whole new world.
With every minute you´re willing
to broaden your horizons.
And your mind wanders gently
back to the shore.
What was transparent,
is now clear like a window front
once your feet touch the sand,
because you know -
Permanent is only the love in your heart.

TRUST

 

Never trust the sheen of stars,
stars sparkle and die down.
Never trust the scent of roses,
roses smell and wither.

But trust a person

who means true to you.
Who cheers with you in happiness,
and cries with you in adversity.

 

 

LOVE

 

 

"Love is patient. Love is kind. It does not envy. It does not boast. It is not proud. It is not rude. It is not self-seeking. It is not easily angered. It keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil. It rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."

                                                                       ~1 Corinthians 13:4-7~

MENSCH

 

Ehe Du in Deinem Leben

fest auf einen Menschen baust,

geh mit Vorsicht ihm entgegen,

ehe Du Dich ihm anvertraust.

Schau ihm tief und fest ins Auge,

ob auch offen ist sein Blick,

denn des Menschen Worte lügen,

doch das Auge kann es nicht.



 

 

VERTRAUEN

 

 

 

Traue nie dem Glanz der Sterne,

Sterne glänzen und verglühen.

Traue nie dem Duft der Rosen,

Rosen duften und verblühen.

 

Traue aber einem Menschen,

der es ehrlich mit Dir meint.

Der im Glücke mit Dir jubelt

und im Unglück mit Dir weint.



GEDANKEN EINER TRAURIGEN SEELE

 

Schlafen kann ich längst nicht mehr.

Meine Kehle ist trocken, als ob sie gefroren wär.

Die Kopfschmerzen werden stärker und widerlich,

als ob ein Stein meine Sorgen bricht.

 

In vielerlei Scherben sind sie zersprungen.

Tief in mein Innerstes eingedrungen.

Dort liegen sie nun, kennen kein Licht.

Und auch einen Sonnenstrahl sehen sie nicht.

 

Manchmal steht auch still mein Herz.

Kann nicht mehr atmen vor Trauer und Schmerz.

Ist erstarrt vor Traurigkeit und Leere.

Versammelt sind dort der Einsamkeit Heere.

 

Und die Gedanken ergeben keinen Sinn.

Was ich versuche, wo ich auch bin.

 

Ängste verbreiten sich schnell wie der Wind.

Rufen wach das einst fröhliche Kind.

Erinnern an die Dunkelheit und den Höllenschlund,

doch „Stopp, geht weg“ zu sagen, vermag nicht mein Mund.

 

Dieses tiefe Leid bringt mich noch um den Verstand.

Das Schicksal hat in mich seine Zeichen gebrannt.

Oft habe ich in den Himmel geschickt ein Gebet.

Bin auf Knien gerutscht, hab um Gnade gefleht.

 

Was ich auch tue, alles ist schwarz für meine Augen.

Welche Kraft will man denn noch aus mir saugen?

Kann nicht mehr weinen, nicht mehr schrei´n.

Will mich niemand von diesen Qualen befrei´n?

 

Sehnsucht und eisige Kälte kommen angekrochen.

Zuletzt hat Verzweiflung meine Seele gebrochen.

Und das ist auch alles, was mir jetzt bleibt.

Fragt sich, wie lange und wohin sie mich treibt.

A HOPELESS SOUL AND A MOMENT

Sometimes you need to speak and sometimes you need to write. Mostly the latter is the better way to express our thoughts. In my case it´s too late maybe and surely not a good occasion to start with it. But then what is a good occasion if the mind wanders relentlessly night by night and pushes your thoughts forward.

A word. A fact. What seemed to be the most natural consequence to fight negative feelings like sadness, desperation or fear turned out to be an impossible act to do – Keeping the faith.

But many a times we´re expected to do exactly that. Wouldn´t everyone say ´keep the faith´ for that things get better if we´re going through a tough time and suffer hardships? Those words come flattering yet not powerful enough when God has other plans with one´s life. God becomes a thief all of a sudden. He bereaves you of your belief in those 3 words. That can be a second, just a moment and one knows they have slipped out of one´s mind and won´t come back. On the other hand we all are the architects of our own fortune. If we take a stroll down memory lane everyone of us can say he was lucky, has seen the beauty of life unfolding in front of him and lived happily at least once. We had it all, so why do we complain? Actually there is no concrete answer to that because everyone is an individual with individual imaginations and wishes of what his life shall look like.

Still there´s an answer - we complain if those things that made us feel comfortable, those we considered to be there as a matter of course or those we took as granted, vanish. Other things take their place. Exactly those things, also happenings, we didn´t count in, weren´t prepared for and never thought of them to happen to us at all, suddenly find a place in our daily routine and everyday activities. They fill us with frustration, depression, anxiety, grief and heartache. At that point one doesn´t see anything, neither with the eyes nor with the heart. All one is, is being shocked. Until one understands what has happened the issues become worse. They bring along restrictions and limitations maybe that we of course refuse to accept. So we start fighting. We want back what we had earlier and what was ours.

That journey we are then on demands a certain amount of strength and willpower. Unless one doesn´t get off course he manages to get through all given circumstances well enough to not struggle. But what if we struggle? If it prevails, it weakens us more and more as one doesn´t seem to see the light at the end of the tunnel again. Every effort we make to not let that happen is a tough challenge of its own. We go on with hope in the heart though. Sometimes we fall but each time we get up anew trying to change the situation, still unaware of what it will turn out to be. If one then sees in the end he won´t get out of it at all, not only has he put in a lot of effort that is silently gone to waste, also isn´t there any hope left. One simply doesn´t feel anything anymore and goes blank like a book whose white pages won´t be filled with a colourful, happy-ending story ever.